Unpublished Poetry
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    Henny Youngman's Pre-Nuptial Agreement

    I'll always be faithful,
    weather permitting, of course.





        At the bookstore,
        Henny Youngman tells the sales clerk,
        "I'm in a hurry,
        so I'll just have some haiku."




Henny Youngman's New Material

He reads aloud
the list of restaurants
closed by the Health Department
every month,
pronouncing each one's name with--
what else?--relish.



        Why Henny Youngman Doesn't Take Naps

        Waking up once a day
        is misery enough.



    Henny Youngman's Priorities

    "I was gonna get married last weekend,
    but there was too much fuckn' traffic."

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