Undocumented 8088/8086 Instruction Set
 
 
  Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations called
MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO, the programmer
writes JMP or even BRA (branch).  These instructions are frequently
abbreviated into total incomprehensibility.

  Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary.  Anyone
who has spent any time programming in assembler knows that all
computers can be programmed using an undocumented set of
instructions.  Frequently when an error is made writing a program in
assembler a user can actually see the program executing the
undocumented instructions.

  These instructions vary from machine from machine, but all
computers have a certain set of them in common.  As a service to
humanity, I am here revealing these common instructions for the first
time.


    ARG : Agree to Run Garbage
    BDM : Branch and Destroy Memory
    CMN : Convert to Mayan Numerals
    DDS : Damage Disk and Stop
    EMR : Emit Microwave Radiation
    ETO : Emulate Toaster Oven
    FSE : Fake Serious Error
    GSI : Garble Subsequent Instructions
    GQS : Go Quarter Speed
    HEM : Hide Evidence of Malfunction
    IDD : Inhale Dust and Die
    IKI : Ignore Keyboard Input
    IMU : Irradiate and Mutate User
    JPF : Jam Paper Feed
    JUM : Jeer at Users Mistake
    KFP : Kindle Fire in Printer
    LNM : Launch Nuclear Missiles
    MAW : Make Aggravating Whine
    NNI : Neglect Next Instruction
    OBU : Overheat and Burn if Unattended
    PNG : Pass Noxious Gas
    QWF : Quit Working Forever
    QVC : Question Valid Command
    RWD : Read Wrong Device
    SCE : Simulate Correct Execution
    SDJ : Send Data to Japan
    TTC : Tangle Tape and Crash
    UBC : Use Bad Chip
    VDP : Violate Design Parameters
    VMB : Verify and Make Bad
    WAF : Warn After Fact
    XID : eXchange Instruction with data
    YII : Yield to Irresistible Impulse
    ZAM : Zero All Memory

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