She is not: Short or Small.
She is: Vertically Challenged.

She does not get: Drunk or Tipsy.
She gets: Chemically Inconvenienced.

She does not have: a Perfect Body.
She is: Anatonically Gifted.

She is not: Half Naked.
She is: Wardrobe Impaired.

She does not want to get: Marred or Hitched.
She wants to get you into: Domestic Incarceration.

She does not have: a Great Butt.
She has: a Superior Posterior.

She is not: an Airhead.
She is: Reality Impaired.

She is not: a Bleached Blonde.
She is: Peroxide Dependent.

She is not: a Babe or Chick.
She is: a Breasted American.

She does not have: Major League Hooters.
She is: Pectorallly Superior.

She does not have: a Great Tan.
She is: Pigmentationally Enhanced.

You do not try to: Score or Pick Her Up.
You: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter.

She is not: a Perfect 10.
She is: Numerically Superior.