You know you're stupid when..
 
  • You wonder what branch of the military Captain Kangaroo was in.

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  • You wipe your ass with a dollar then decide you still want to spend it.

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  • You swallow a nickel and wait for the change.

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  • You climb mountains to `get a closer look' at the constellations.

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  • You repeat yourself often.

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  • You repeat yourself often.

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  • You buy season tickets to the super bowl.

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  • You put a `Buy American' sticker on your Toyota.

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  • You call up Phone Psychics so you can ask them why they let the phone ring.

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  • You put an antennae on your mailbox in order to receive mail from people farther away.

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  • You body build and subscribe to Playgirl so you can look at the future you.

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  • You wonder how your going to get that ring over your girlfriend's head, down her arm and onto her finger.

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  • You get a ticket for speeding and claim you didn't know you were because you can't count that high.

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  • You subscribe to the newspaper so you can save on toilet paper.

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  • You wave good-bye instead of hello when answering the phone.

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  • You try to convince the cop who pulled you over for a burned out taillight that he merely has one eye closed.

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  • You call your neighbor who is blasting the stereo at 3 am to demand that he change the station at once.

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  • You think WWF is real, and Pay-Per-View it.

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